The Magical Caffeine Princess' Journal

Argh, why did I come down to Orlando instead of staying in my nice comfortable apartment, where people don't leave my goddamn underwear on the floor? So ready to be done.

Signs the universe is determined to make me miserable...

1) I lose my job.

2) I lose my insurance.

3) I get a bladder infection before COBRA kicks in.

4) My goddamn doctors office claims they're calling me in an antibiotic... they don't.

5) When I find out they were lying like rugs (after the office is closed) I call the on call doctor, and she says she's calling me in a prescriptions... still no sign of it 45 minutes later.

Basically I suspect the infection will just fester in my system, spreading from my bladder to everywhere else, and I will die miserably and in pain.

Or not, but that's totally how I feel at the moment.

ETA: I has a medicine! Or I will when the hubs gets back from CVS. Thank goodness. Also I expect to have a sandwich, which should help too.

So apparently there's some movie coming out with Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl called "The Ugly Truth." In an attempt to be "hip" and "with it" they have an add campaign running on Texts From Last Night (Which incidentally is my new obsession. It's like free laughter therapy for these depressing times.) Unfortunately they have failed to grasp that the whole point of TFLN is that they're FUNNY, rather than just lame and somewhat distasteful. Funny and distasteful is good, but lame and distasteful ain't gonna cut it.

Here are some delightful examples of their fake texts...

Lame Ass Ad Texts
(415) You’re a very attractive woman, but you are completely inaccessible. You’re all about comfort and efficiency.
(916) What’s wrong with comfort and efficiency?
(415) Well, nothing, except no one wants to f**K it.

What the hell does that even mean?

And then there was this choice nugget...
(415) No one falls in love with your personality at first sight, they fall in love with your tits and your ass. And they stick around because of what you’re willing to do with them.

How very empowering! It's so nice to be valued only for my tits and ass! That is basically the smarmiest sentence I have ever read in my life.

And finally my absolute favorite...
(415) We have to make your hair longer. Men like something to grab onto other than your ass. Abby, a ponytail implies that you are either operating heavy machinery or emptying the litter-box. Neither of those things inspires an erection.

Really advertising people? Really? I'm not sure you're quite reaching your target demographic here, which includes yours truly. I mean you're talking to a woman who sat through the steaming pile of shit that was Timeline just to see Gerard Butler with his shirt off, it should be REALLY hard to keep me from seeing on of his movies. And yet I wouldn't see this movie if you paid me in Bloody Mary's, footrubs, and thousan dollar bills. (OK, I totally would actually, but still.) Please, please, please get a goddamn clue.

Well unemployment isn't great, but it does have some advantages. Not having to get up at 7 am is a big plus. This morning I rose at the early hour of 11 am. Yesterday I think I rolled out of bed at 1 pm. I sleep fantastically.

Also delightful is making late night trips out for dessert. Manthas and I just made a run out to McDonald's for a $1 sundae, and it was AWESOME. I went out in a tank top, my shleppy shorts and my purple fuzzy slippers. There's a lot to be said for that.

Right now we're in a holding pattern because we have no clue where we're going to living come August. I'm not even sure we'll be in Florida. Normally I'd be freaking out about such total uncertainty, but after basically 2 years of constant uncertainty, I've learned to adjust. It's all sort of taking on the feel of an adventure right now, though that will probably change once I have to start packing.

Today a total stranger hit on me via text on my husband's cell phone. THAT my friends, is how hot my texting is. :-p

ETA: My hubs is totes fired as my wingman.

Well that'll teach me to complain about having to live in Tampa. I was just laid off. :(

It's a shitty situation, and I think I almost feel worse for my bosses than for myself, because I know they did NOT want to have to do it. But once those ass holes in the state legislature cut off our funding, there wasn't much to be done. Apparently I'm not the only one leaving, and everyone left is going to be cut back to 18 hours a week. PLUS the three company owners have personal loans for the office building. In other words, it's a clusterfuck. The only problem now is that my apartment is leased through August.

( Memege )

Oh god, this is totally unacceptable. I woke up sick as a dog this morning. Last night I had a stuffy nose, and this morning I woke up with an even worse stuffy nose, and the sore throat from hell. Being sick is UNFUCKING ACCEPTABLE!! I'm so mad, because I used to get sinus infections like 4 times a year, but I've been almost illness free since 2008, and now, out of the blue I'm sick! I blame my boss. He came back from Vegas on Tuesday, and by Wednesday he was back out of the office with some sort of crud, and I'm betting I caught it from him. Bastard. I swear to god I am going to leave something nasty on his chair. I'm not actually sure what's wrong with me (head cold, sinus infection, etc.) but goddamn does it suck. I'd actually prefer a sinus infection, because then I could get some antibiotics and call it a day. A head cold would just suck. Universe, seriously, I am TOTALLY OUT OF PTO, please stop forcing me to miss work!

Oh god that hurt. I slammed my knee into the corner of my desk so hard that I'm still slightly nauseous from the pain. I'm pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes, accompanied by a flock of birds and stars who circled cheerfully above my head. I put a gel ice pack on it for a while, but it's still painful. Why the hell do we need knees anyway? They're just a hazard for us clumsy people.

I got my hair cut again today. I think I mentioned I cut it short a few weeks ago. Unfortunately it turned out it wasn't short ENOUGH. The stylist didn't seem to quite get what I was going for, and I also found it was just too long. Part of my reason for cutting it was to get out of the rut of just wearing it up all the time, but since the hair came down to the base of my neck, it was too hot for me not to put up, even if just in a small ponytail. So today I got the back chopped off so that non of the hair rests on my neck, and a ponytail is right out. It feels wonderful, and looks pretty cute, if I say so myself.

This site is INSANE. I don't even remember how I got there, but I was drooling over some of their lighting fixtures. But dude, $1300 for a chandelier for a kids room? $4000 for a CRIB? I just have a really hard time wrapping my brain around anyone having that much money. It's just mind boggling. Just wow.

Write something here about my opinions on cultural appropriation and tattoos.

ETA: Sadly, now that I am home, I have forgotten much of what I was going to say. Instead, please see interesting conversation I had in comments with ladykathryn. Incidentally this post was spawned by a thought provoking post of karenhealy's, which managed to actually be complete.

*collapses on floor*

Just spent the last couple hours cleaning the house in Orlando. My husband and his roommates? Total slobs. I walked into the house last night (I haven't been here in about three weeks) and was like "oh HELL no." The carpet was stained and needed vacuuming, the terrazzo needed sweeping, and the kitchen floor is STICKY. So, so nasty. And our bedroom is just as big a mess, and smells funky. My husband has apparently reverted to his 23 year old self, and forgotten how to clean. I feel kind of bad for him, because his roommates are really not very tidy, but of course they're also almost never here, so I know he and the cats are responsible for a good portion of the gner. In case you're wondering, gner (pronounced gah-ner)is my mother's generic word for dirt and other unappealing crap.

Anyway, I can't live with that much nastiness, so Manthas and I have spent the afternoon cleaning. We probably would have started this morning if we hadn't accidentally slept until noon, and then spent another hour or so curled up in bed together. Can I tell you how much I love having a king sized bed? Sleeping in my full size bed in my apartment is fine when I'm by myself (though man my matress sucks) but with another person? PASS. Out real bed is soooooo much nicer. *sigh* I think I'm almost as eager to be reunited with my bed as with my husband when we finally move back in together.

Anyway, we have to go buy a mop and bucket now, because the kitchen floor is totally unacceptable.

I was playing WoW with Manthas and some of his classmates the other night, and got an achievement I'd never seen before with any of my toons.

Name of the achievement? "Going Down."

I blinked at the Achievement window and sent Manthas a /tell.

"All I can think is "Pshh, I got that achievement YEARS ago."

Let it never be said that Blizzard's dirty jokes are wasted on players.

Oh, and I forgot to mention I have jury duty on Wednesday. How's that for something to look forward to. :(

Weekends get progressively shorter all the time. It's really quite frustrating.

Friday was our anniversary. It was... ok. I worked all day, and the evening was a bit frustrating, but in the end we had really good Chinese food, so that helped.

Saturday we went to the birthday party of our friend Rachel's little girl Charlotte, who is officially Cutest Child on the Planet (tm). Want to win the eternal affection of a four year old? Give her a set of sparkly fairy wings for her birthday. Out of the zillions of presents, ours was the one she stopped everything to immediately try on. And then she spent the rest of the afternoon prancing around in them, to the envy of her peers. Also a party with a veritable horde of 4 year olds? That's some free birth control right there. I'm still tired just from being in the same room as them.

Sunday we went to Ybor with a group of friends to have lunch and see Star Trek again. Whatdya know, still awesome the second time around! Now I am looking forward to Terminator next weekend, and I am way, stupidly excited about G.I. Joe (Which I totally just wrote J.I. Joe. I can't believe I miss spelled a letter.)

That was about it. Also grabbed the new Sookie Stackhouse book, and got through half of it in the couple hours before bed. I had how publishers are using really wide margins and double spacing to make books seem longer. It's like formatting by a college freshman trying to pad their term paper. Lame.

OK, hungry now, going to go eat breakfast.

Your result for The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?)...

The Renaissance Faire Wench (QLAF)

Quirky Liberal Alpha Female

Take The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?) at HelloQuizzy

So Manthas and I are having a discussion via text this morning, brought on by an idea for a video game he had. Since he's getting his degree in video game design/programming that's not an unusual conversation for us. But what was interesting, is that my husband, who is a strait white male, (I only point this out because in my experience most guys in this category don't spend much time looking or thinking outside it) randomly came up with a game about a main character who is gay. My first reaction to his idea was "that is a totally awesome idea!" followed immediately by "and you'd never get a studio to publish it."

How depressing is that? I feel 99% sure that if he took that idea to any mainstream studio, they'd toss him out on his ear. Hell, I feel 100% sure that if he took that idea just to the students in his cohort, most of them would have their typical "oh my god, eew, teh gay!" reaction. Part of the problem being that the majority of his schoolmates are white, upper middle class, strait males, in the 22-24 age range, possibly some of the most homophobic creatures on the planet. (Which, let me tell you, makes my head explody.) Not that this is likely to stop my husband, who could not give two shits for the opinions of most of the guys he goes to school with, but it's still disappointing.

Based only on my own observation, (anecdotal evidence: it's scientifical!) it seems like books, movies and television have begun, slowly to at least make a stab at presenting accurate (or at least not totally stereotypical) gay characters. Video games? Not so much. In fact (and feel free to correct me, please) I can't think of a single video game with a gay character who is both a main character and positively portrayed. Since video games can barely manage to create positive female characters, it's not a surprise to me that gay characters (not to mention POC and other minorities) are still given totally short shrift, but it's disappointing.

My hope is that guys like my husband and other members of the gaming industry will work to change that, even if it's difficult. I have high hopes that over the next decade or so, as the gaming industry grows and gets even more mainstream it will embrace both players and characters outside the current young, white, and male demographic.

So I guess my point is a) homophobia in the gaming industry pisses me off and b) I have hopes that it may not always be so.

(Wow, I am Posty McPostypants today.)

P.S. Internets, do any of your know who the first gay, male protagonist was in a movie? And when said movie came out? I am doing some research on this, but thought I'd throw it out there in case someone has an answer of the top of their heads.

ETA: I think I had better qualify my P.S. I'm looking for the first openly gay male protagonist. As in acknowledged in the movie itself that he's gay.

ETA2: According to my (oh so in depth) research, the answer to my question is Victim, staring Dirk Bogarde (which is an awesome name).

I have a random question for all of my grammatically gifted friends. My grammar-fu is pretty weak (which is rather sad, considering I have a degree in English, specializing in writing no less) and so I turn to you for aid. Lately I keep coming across a weird construction, both in fiction and online, where people seem to eschew "to be" all together, and it's driving me batty. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.

My Jeep is really dirty, and could definitely use a good washing. If I were going to mention this fact to someone I would say:

"My car needs to be washed."

With the construction I keep running across, I would say:

"My car needs washed."

WTF? Does that make anyone else's inner ear hurt? Is it in fact grammatically correct, and you are now all scoffing at my ignorance? What did poor to be do to be completely eliminated from sentences? Please, someone explain this to me because I am starting to get paranoid that I missed some important lesson on grammar and no one told me.

YOU GUYS!!! STAR TREK WAS SO AWESOME THAT I CANNOT STOP TALKING IN ALL CAPS. EVEN IN REAL LIFE ALL CAPS ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH!!! SO MUCH AWESOME!!!! IT KICKED WOLVERINE'S BUTT SO HARD!!!!


( SPOILERS LIKE WHOA!! ) ALSO I LOVE MCCOY SO HARD!!!!!

*executes a leap onto the bandwagon* Anyone have a Dreamwidth invite sitting around? I wanna be one of the cool kids too.